Now Get Out Of That One

Now get out of that one!


Andre entered the church and sat down three rows from the front. She remembered she needed to buy some stamps after the service.

On the road down to the shops, a youth shoulder barged her knocking her on the ground unconscious. Dazed, confused and with blurred vision, Andre woke up with someone looking over her.

She immediately recognised the man that was looking over her and it was an ex-boyfriend that she used to date 5 years ago. His name was Reuben and he still looked as handsome as he did 5 years ago.

Andre the woman and Reuben caught up over a cup of coffee, Andre learnt that Reuben was developing a new drug that could make humans turn into animals which she was immediately intrigued by.

A wave of panic swept over Andre as she remembered she had yet to buy her stamps. Reuben offered his ex girlfriend a lift to the post office.

All seems to be going well, until Reuben pulled out a needle and injected it into Andre’s neck. She began to screech like a chimp in pain.

Andre escaped from the Car, ran into the Post Office but caught a glimpse of a chimpanzee in the window. She remembered Rueben was a prankster and realised it was a PG Tips promotion and she had just been injected with a harmless substance.

Relieved at realising it was an advert, she walked into the shops with a view to purchase some second class stamps. Save the pennies she thought.

She entered the shop and went straight to the counter where she got out her purse.

“One book of second class stamps please.”

She took the book of stamps and placed some change on the counter.

“You’ve given me five pence too much dear.” Said the shopkeeper. “Here you go.”

“Oh keep the change.” Said Andre.

“No please I insist.” Said the shopkeeper.

“Erm…put it in the lifeboat charity box, I love it when you make the little boat wiggle around when the coins fall on it.”

“Ok then dear. See you next week.”